But, I'm working on it. One of the biggest struggles I have as a parent is following through on punishments. Lord help me, I threaten a lot and follow through almost NEVER!! This is one thing I spend most of my time praying about-how to be the parent that these children need. I am SOOO guilty of just throwing something out there in the heat of the moment or disappointment that I know (and the children prob know too) I will never follow through with. That may seem easy to some, it really is just self control, but it is something that I need help with. And honestly, there are some punishments that definitely do fit the crime. But those would punish me and other "innocent" children as well. One that I do all the time is say you/we won't go to the pool. But, I have said it, and then we went to the pool anyway. So, I now have a set of certain punishments for each child that doesn't affect everyone. I try not to punish one child in a way that will punish everyone. They all have their own electronics (ipod, 3ds', etc) that they seem to miss if they have them taken away. If it is a group sorta punishment-then no dvds in the car. What I really want to stay away from is the type of punishment that interrupts our time together as a family.
Today we headed down to Birkdale to let Ry spend her Justice gift cards that she got for Christmas. We were waiting for them to get some spring stuff in and she had coupons that expire in 2 days, so today was the day. The stroller was soaking wet from being left out in the rain. So, I was literally running through scenarios in my mind of how this would go when my 5 children and I went busting through the doors of Justice (not exactly a toddler friendly store). I bribed them with TCBY, that we would get ONLY after we were done at Justice. We spent almost an hour in there with no incidents. Until checkout, which sometimes I like to call the meltdown counter. We usually get along just fine on every shopping trip until we get to the cashier. No matter how many times I say no, it's like they think if I say no to m & m's I may say yes to skittles????, I get so distracted. My oldest brought me item after item that he was going to pay for with his own money, I threatened him more than once "no TCBY".
Gosh, it broke my heart for every one else to sit there and eat their yogurt and he just sat there:( Didn't make me feel good at all. There is definitely truth in the saying "this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you." I can't say that I felt better for following through on my threat, but I knew I had to do it. It is my responsibility and a commitment that I made. Truth be told, I have been blessed with these children, I am very proud of them, and their behavior is usually the least of my worries. But, I do want them to know when I say something I mean it and I have been teaching them the exact opposite.
One other thing that happened while we were in TCBY: A lady walked in and asked the cashier had she seen a young girl and guy walk by or come in there. The cashier told the woman that they had gone into the bathroom together!! That woman (I assume was the mother) went to the back and came back out with both children, yelling at the guy to stay away from her daughter. When they went outside the boy walked off and the girl started yelling at her mom. I looked at the cashier and said "I can't imagine ever going through something like that with my children." To which she replied "it all comes down to how you raise them." It just reiterated to me that even though there are some things as a parent that definitely aren't easy, there are some things you just gotta do.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
